It's simple for me really as the grass grows high.

Im sitting by the window. House sparrows flying by.

Thinking of the way. You tore the veil away

I see clearly now and I'll be damned to try.

 

Spring is coming early. I read the note you left.

That horrible emotion. Growing in my breast.

Browsing around for porn. Oh lord I could have sworn.

I've been sitting at this table. Since the day you left.

 

And then Im feeling nothing. I'm mostly dull inside.

Like the sparrows on the window ledge. Too indifferent to hide.

Maybe it'll be ok. Maybe It'll go away.

But I'm drowning in the darkness of the sparrow's eye.

 

The mailman doesn't come here. I pay my bills online.

Not much human contact. It's fine, it's fine, I'm fine.

I'll go get beer at the store. It just has to get dark before.

I'll go out the door and be invisible outside.

 

It's simple this thing really. I save up to get high.

From pills or drink, whatever. To make time pass faster by.

Rainfall closing in. I'm shaggy gray and thin.

To be honest Isobel. I'm waiting around to die.

The disappointment game. Preparing to be hurt. Forcing every word.

The corduroy of your coat. Your lipstick on the cup. The nothing is enough. Of you

See me the way you don't.

Hear me the way you wont

The drizzle of the rain, rehearsing every word. Hoping to be heard.

Trying to look my best. Pretending to get texts. Needing to be noticed. By you

See me the way you don't.

Hear me the way you wont

Trying to keep up. The brilliance of your speech. Nothing is immoral.

Attention of the crowd. The Excitement of the room. My face is just a speck. to you

The ride back on the bus. Another try in vain. I didn't speak a word.

Staring at the rain. That doesn't ever stop. it floats away my heart.

Touch me the way you don't

Love me the way you won't

So do you know what's up with Monica?

Who is it? Who is she?

I've been calling and I've been texting her.

She wants to be left in peace

Went to the clinic only half of you were in it

Depressed for success is half the winning

The perfect scarring of the soul

Every night/dream running naked in public

Excuse the excuse of this body you're stuck with

The haunting of the soul.

Every hour away from therapy

Just trying to. Stay clean

You might think that I was stalking her

What is it she needs?

Went to the clinic only half of you was in it

Depressed for success is half the winning

The perfect scarring of the soul

Every night/dream running naked in public

Excuse the excuse of this body you're stuck with.

The haunting of the soul.

She was the wall that I was leaning on.

She's got you now. And I've got me.

Sitting quiet on this gravel driveway.

Morally obese. On my hands and knees.

Its fading over time

The strangeness disappear

Left it all behind

The moral and the fear

I Promise the world

Promise me something back

Anything at all

Regression to the mean

The special disappear

Average and clean

It's simple right here

I Promise the world

Give me something back

Anything at all

Lovely and absurd

Let's dream it up again

I know it will be heard

It’s hiding in my brain

I Promise the world

Promise me something back

Anything at all

Why on earth does he call us children? Why is there blood on the boulevard?

White man life in white men city. Can it really be that hard?

I get mental nosebleed when you speak. You don't speak for me.

There's nothing in your armless reach.

When you are playing with the scene. Nothing there is real.

Nothing that you say or that you feel. You're the fox in the hamster wheel

As you pretend to be having a bad day. The only bad here is your hair.

Faking tears behind wayfarers. Taking care of your affairs.

I get mental nosebleed when you speak. You don't speak for me.

Theres nothing in your armless reach.

When you are playing with the scene. Nothing there is real.

Nothing that you say or that you feel. You're the fox in the hamster wheel

But when it's dark and you are done. I'll be there for you.

When you can't fake one more song. I'll be there for you.

I get mental nosebleed when you speak. You don't speak for me.

There's nothing in your armless reach.

When you are playing with the scene. Nothing there is real.

Nothing that you say or that you feel. You're the fox in the hamster wheel

HIllside covered with bone. Blond wig as a target.

Fearful of the unknown and what you might get.

As northern as can be. Quarter to compulsion.

Same old quaint cafe of tempered passion

And you're dismantling yourself.

Another chapter is done. Dividing six in seven.

The childless mother has gone. Not to heaven

You are looking for me in hell

Posing as a man. Duck behind initials.

Trick me if you can with your nome de vicious.

Cardiac arrest. If writing is your heartbeat.

SIgn your death attest on this rainy backstreet.

Where you're eviscerating yourself. 

Hold on tighter. It's cold outside this winter night.

Cross the street for thirty seconds of the dying light.

Is the water frozen? Are you? Is tonight still on?

Foggy lenses to see life through. But what's going on?

The faint promise of the night is pulling me under.

California California is pushing me through.

Old apartment. Wood floor. Mismatched socks.

They're in the kitchen. I'm right here. By the grandfather clock.

Too tall for your pants. Boyish hair. And that pixies shirt.

Eyes darting to the kitchen. And your skinny flirt.

The faint promise of the night is pulling me under.

California California is pushing me through.

The last promise of the night is painting the morning

California California

Some are married now. Some got kids. But I know you.

As the party dies down. The night will do.

As the party dies down. I will do.

Brother dearest, brother dearest

Was his target from the start.

I'm disgusting on the inside.

But it was hard, so hard, so hard.

I took shelter. In your shadow.

As he towered over you.

Every piece of me was breaking.

You knew exactly what not to do.

And it's been so many years. All is well all is well.

You can come back home to me. I wont tell I wont tell

Dandelions in the asphalt.

Pushing through to face the sun.

But you melted, dearest brother.

He took it out on his only son.

In the weekends every sunday

Playful girl I guess he fell.

Standing silent. Next to nothing.

Father priest in family hell.

It's been so many years. All is well all is well.

You can come back home to me. I wont tell I wont tell

Brother dearest. Brother dearest.

When you left what could I do?

Playing statue. He would strike me

As he was reaching out for you

But it's been so many years. All is well all is well.

You can come back home to me. I wont tell I wont tell

Blood on the headstone. Added to your name.

Lips dry as paper. Mine are just the same.

The snowflakes land on your face.

Let them be let them be let them be

THe minutes turn to hours turn to days

Let it be let it be let it be.

With the out-patients. Bone on bone on bone.

Chronically whatever. Better than being alone

And then. You stopped eating. You stopped just like that.

But a trace in the mirror. All wax-like and flat.

Begin with the inside. ENd with what's left.

Thistles around you. The thin are the blessed.

Something wicked inside you, But there's nothing left.

Regards to your daughter. If you had one.

The splintered self image. And then there was none.

But the snowflakes fall on your grave.

let them be let them be let them be

Did you ever really want to be saved?

Let her be, let her be, let her be

Standing silent in the subway.

Where he pretends to be a friend. 

You'll be happy ever after.

You'll be resting in the end.

I hear you laughing in my head.

The grabbing hand you cry, no more no more no more

Nails scrape his image on the floor.

The grabbing hand you cry no more no more no more

Those grabbing hands.                                      

Behind the bushes hides the rapist.

Nothing but hands nothing but thighs.

More mascara. Aviators.

Way too tired not to lie

In the corner in the subway.

Trying not to be afraid.

In every face potential stalker.

You have become a thing he made.

In my Pompeji among the ruins.

Noone left no reason to hide

Onward onward christian soldier.

Even lions grow old and die.

But I still remember your hands on my face

You and me and your mother. As I let go forgive me Grace

I'll soon be dead from raging cancer.

As alcoholics tend to be

Chiseled stone but once I was a dancer

I drove you both away from me

But I still remember your hands on my face

You and me and your mother. As I let go forgive me Grace 

I will be gone when you get this letter

I hope you get your brother back

I ask for nothing but for you to consider:

I took it back, I took it back, I take it back 

But I still remember your hands on my face

You and me and your mother. As I let go forget me Grace